Bad Telemarketing Poetry

I did a brief spin through a telemarketing gig a week ago. It lasted for less than a week, but not because it was unbearably awful — it was surprisingly pleasant! Nope, I landed a long-term temp day job that is paying me handsomely for my brainpower. That’s a nice feeling, and it’s keeping the lights on at Maison du Snapper.

While I was at the telemarketing gig, I got the idea to write way-too-sincere poetry about telemarketing. It amused me to no end. Perhaps it will amuse you, too:

Bad Telemarketing Poetry 1I.

don’t hesitate

jump right in

waste no time

get to work

to dial …

… dial …

… dial …

and hope someone picks up



dregs seeking out dregs

hoping chance will sweep us away


desperate for a connection

we did not know we missed

longing for that voice

we’ve never heard before


carressing plastic

trying to remember what the

real thing feels like



some people

just want

to defeat you

don’t listen to their words

their broken, hurtful words

listen to their motivation

their true



and pity them their inhumanity



madly dialing numbers

desperate to hear a voice



pick up

hear me speak

talk to me

tonight I’m not selling

tonight you’re not buying

tonight we are two




it is not a personal failing

to miss a connection

no one is to blame

for bad timing

to hear your recorded voice

is not to resent you

(how much I would prefer

a conversation!)

I am here; I know you’re out there

living our lives

Bad Telemarketing Poetry 2

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